Sunday, September 7, 2008

Mommy Dearest

Wow, what a weekend! Justin's grandfather, Daddy Mack, is not doing very well at all right now. He's almost 94 years old and up until now has been in amazing health. He's decline has been rapid and they've called in hospice. Understandably, Justin wanted to go spend time with him.

I realize especially now just how amazing my husband is when I'm doing the single parent thing this weekend. I've had some moments that I am not very proud of. I'm afraid to say when you mix sleep deprivation, a newborn, a toddler and no break from any of it, it's a recipe for disaster. I wish that I could be one of those moms who make it look so easy and never complain but I'm just not being truthful with myself if I said it was. I somehow feel inadequate that I can't handle it all. How in the world do single parents do it? I wonder how in the world my mother didn't throw the three of us into the dumpster doing it by herself before my dad adopted me.

Don't misunderstand, I absolutely love my children and you would literally have to send me to a mental hospital if something happened to them. I just keep reminding myself how overwhelmed I felt when Nolan was born and while we were in the midst of it, it was never ending but looking back it was such a short phase. Now while the newborn part is much easier the second time around, it's managing a toddler and a newborn with two totally different needs that is exhausting.

Thankfully with family and friends in town, I've had help. My sister came over yesterday and I'm not sure if it was the odor I was giving off or the amount of grease dripping from my hair but she offered to take the kids just so I could go shower. What an amazing 15 minutes that was.

Nolan always acts like it's Christmas day when daddy comes home everyday after work. Tomorrow is my Christmas!

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