Happy Birthday Nolan

I'm not sure if it's knowing that Landry is our last one or if it's knowing that Nolan is turning six but I'm having this freak out moment with how insanely fast life passes you by. How is it just 6 years ago he was this tiny?

 

Seeing the similarities of Landry and Nolan is blowing me away. It's like I've stepped into this tripped out time machine that shows me what my child looks like at birth and at 6 but in live action. 

Landry sleeps JUST like this. So in an effort to stop time, I become a mamarazzi and take photos of my children like they are celebrities.

 

And with one blink, he turned a year. I remember that little orange carrot nose like it was yesterday. 

  

When I had him, he made my love affair with fall only grow. 

 

Who am I kidding? Let's just be honest...he made my love for all holidays grow. 

 

And then I blinked twice and he was two. At two is when I began teaching so I could be with him more. Because let's face it, he was and is my world.

I remember crying so hard when I went back to work having the insane mother's guilt that I was leaving him with strangers at school. But I quickly realized that boys love their mamas and it was my first "a-ha" moment as a mother of what quality vs. quantity meant.

I remember loving him so much that I wanted another one just like him, another boy. 

And I remember those last few months when we were just a family of 3 and savoring every last minute of it.

I was so nervous about how would this only child react to having a sibling in the house. He loved it and seeing him be the brother that he is, is one of my favorite things about him.

 And someday it will break my heart when I don't get to coordinate their Halloween costumes (and it looks like a mighty big possibility this year).

 

His happiness is contagious. You find enough energy to muster, "DO IT AGAIN, MOMMY!" because you don't have the heart to disappoint him.

And his infectious laughter....don't even get me started.

 

What I'm most proud of him is his demonstration of love. His "I love you, Mommy" on his own accord melts my heart. And as much as they fight, how he  loves his little brother without a doubt.

And I love his ability to make friends so quickly...a trait he no doubt got from his father.

But sometimes I cringe to look at these pictures and wonder if I've done the best for him. Have I given him enough confidence? Have I not spoiled him? Have I taught him to be a good person?

I know I've made mistakes in parenting, some that make me stay up at night....those moments where you think have I scarred my children?

We are all trying the best we can to mold these little people into humans that make not only us proud but others.

 

But one thing that I think takes care of all of that is...

Is he happy? Is he loved?

  

 He is most certainly loved. 

 

And call me crazy, but he seems pretty happy. 

 

To my one day grown up Nolie Polie: I hope you know how much you are loved. Since you've come into my life, I've never laughed, never worried so much in my life. You are truly a gift of joy and I can never thank God enough that God picked ME as your mother. I am so proud of who you are already you've only started your journey. I will always love you to the moon and back.