Friday, December 9, 2011

Christmas cheer

I dread the family Christmas photo shoot. Normally, it involves meltdowns from both children and adults, snacks, bribery, and exhaustion. But I gotta say, that this year was pretty painless. We went to a park near our house which is more like a hiking trail and were there for 45 minutes...tops. Glorious.

The key? Don't do poses. Just go with it. Go with the silliness, the laughter and try to wrangle them in for a few family shots, but that's it.

I knew that our time was very limited, not only with the boys, but mostly because of Landry. That nursing schedule keeps you on your toes and there's no rest for the weary.

The silliness (and the promise of a beloved lollipop) help make things run smoother. But honestly, just playing around and genuine lovin' instead of posing helped make this one, one of my favorite shoots ever.

I've been on this whirlwind to get everything done before the end of my maternity which happened this week. My first official day back as a working mom was Monday. Ugh. So Christmas pictures were done earlier than ever before!

I began to adjust to this fake stay-at-home mom thing very quickly. I gotta say, it was really nice. I felt so refreshed picking up the boys from school even as a sleep-deprived mom with a newborn baby. Because at the end of the day, I had my family...

and had some one-on-one time with Landry that I will forever treasure.

The mother's guilt is all-consuming. If I stay home with Landry then I won't be able to see Nolan everyday in the halls and have that special mommy/Nolan time we have after school. 
And before I know it, Campbell will be right there at school with me too. 

 I'm scared about the trouble those two will get in together. 

They need to know that mama's just down the hallway to keep them in line. 

But if I go back to work, then I'm missing out all my all day snuggles with her and she's my BABY! 

So I decided that teaching really is the best of both worlds. It allows me to be a mom and work full time and the perk of the time off helps me sleep better at night. 

 The guilt never seems to go away when it comes to parenting. I seem to second-guess myself all the time.

And they seem to know a thing or two about what faces melt my heart and help them get away with just about anything. These same faces that make me want to quit my job just so I can stare at those adorable eyes all day. 

But as I have this inner war with myself weekly if I'm doing the right thing, I just remind myself that what matters most is that they feel loved, validated, and important to me.

 After that, everything else just falls into place.

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